The Saltlist

Satire in the Age of Letters and Technology- more than just a pinch of it.

Yet another fuel price hike? Lets auction fuel!

By: Shivani Singh
Meme courtesy: Messy Kaur

As you know, the government takes 40 percent of what you make. The other 60 percent, of course, taken by the fuel gas stations.” – Jay Leno.
This is one of the many jokes doing the rounds when it comes to the issue of fuel price hike. But how far will it go? There shall be a dearth of jokes on the same but the problem, as it seems, shall never come to an end.

“Hike in fuel prices again”, “Rising prices troubles citizens across the nation”-such headlines do not shock anymore. Fuel prices rise to Rupees five one day and drop by a Rupee the next day. Reasons for the fluctuating price vary every time it rises. The government says it is because of the inflation and the public detests every bit of it. The price growth directly affects the prices of all other commodities- from vegetables to the monthly ration to all other basic amenities of life. Some even say that the fuel prices may just  hit a century before Sachin Tendulkar does.With fuel getting costlier and cars coming for a lakh , the common man is going to have a hard time deciding on what he really should do-he may finally have enough money for the car but what about the fuel?
”Is there a fuel loan?” – this might just be the question running through his mind in the near future.

If things continue in the same fashion, we may all have to go back to riding the rustic bullock carts and those majestic chariots again. The Ben Hur Era will come back and the horse baggiwallahs will be back in business. In no time we will be back to the time when no fuel existed. We could just see fuel being auctioned like antique paintings- all of this do seem a scary but the continuous hike in prices cannot stop us from thinking of the worst that could happen.

We would not be surprised if burglars steal cars and return them after siphoning off the petrol. Gifting a gallon of fuel may become a trend, riding bicycles would then be the new fashion statement and the Ferrari’s would lose their shimmer. Children would then change their aims from becoming pilots to bicycle shop owners. Who knows? We may just go back to living like primitives considering the rapid rate at which our natural resources are depleting and the snail speed at which we are making efforts to replenish them. Scientists are busy developing hybrid cars that run on battery but they are high price commodities.The troubles being caused by the sky-rocketing prices go beyond the thousand one-liners in the numerous newspapers and magazines we read. We fret, we complain, we crib but we do accept it in the end. Considering the situation, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that going back to the horse carriages seems like a ‘noble’ idea. The benefits and comforts associated with fuel are inviting but the fact that mounting prices may cause disarray in our easy lives cannot be evaded. Let us just gear up for the calamitous consequences which may come into sight if we have to shell out more cash to commute from our respective houses to the mall than the amount we spent on those branded blue denims we were traveling in the first place for.


16 comments on “Yet another fuel price hike? Lets auction fuel!

  1. Aditi Annapurna
    January 5, 2012

    This is funny, in a very Yeah-2012-will-suck-but-there’s-still-a-laugh-that-can-be-added-between-the-complicated-bits. Good work 🙂

  2. Shivani
    January 5, 2012

    Thank you 🙂 Glad you liked it!

  3. Ankita Singhania
    January 5, 2012

    excellent work! the comparisons are horribly good. people really need to come across such writings time-to-time. great effort!

  4. shivani
    January 5, 2012

    Thank you 🙂 Appreciate it.

  5. Lata Jha
    January 5, 2012

    Hilarious..loved it 🙂

  6. shivani
    January 5, 2012

    Thank you! 🙂

  7. Rishabh Kukreja
    January 5, 2012

    It’s wonderful!!! Keep it up. 😀

  8. shivani
    January 6, 2012

    Thank you 🙂 Keep reading!

  9. Neetha Rajam
    January 15, 2012

    Apart from the grammatical errors and an unfunny+flawed meme, this is more of a blabber full of whines. And of course the hypothetical examples which would not amuse a sane reader in the least bit. “LESS PATROL NO CAR PPL CRY LA DI DAH DI DAH”. It’d take a real woman’s effort not to fall asleep whilst reading this.

    “Children would then change their aims from becoming pilots to bicycle shop owners”. This is what happens when you try too hard at witticism. You end up sounding stupid. What am I, a 7 year old kid who needs to be fed with such a pathetic attempt at sounding funny, for a joke? NO. I AM A GROWN-UP, REGULAR & ANGRY (post reading this) READER.

    Wait. What’s even the point of this post? No real description of what would happen if there was a severe fuel inflation. No real description of what measures people would resort to. No real description of how or why this is happening. No real description of whether it’s possible or not to weed the problem out. No ideas to tackle the problem. Looks like you wrote this during “that” time of the month.

    Please, come up with better stuff, girls.

  10. Neetha Rajam
    January 15, 2012

    P.s: Messy Kaur, how about you use your real name instead of trying to sound “k00l”? Pretty sure your parents didn’t name you “Messy”.

  11. thesaltlisters
    January 15, 2012

    Hi Neetha
    Appreciate your feedback. It really was something 🙂
    Since you have such brilliant suggestions to offer, why don’t you write for us?
    The Saltlist would probably become ‘Kooler’ and posts would then not appear to be written during ‘that time of the month’
    We badly want grown up and angry readers to contribute.– that’s where you can send in your wonderful pieces.
    Thank you

  12. Neetha Rajam
    January 16, 2012

    I don’t write. I only read.
    Thanks for the offer nonetheless.
    How about you do your own job better and not try to sound like a smartass? 🙂

  13. thesaltlisters
    January 16, 2012

    You’re welcome Neetha! 🙂

    Also, the Saltlisters take the word ‘smartass’ as a compliment- so thank you!

    keep reading 🙂

  14. Neetha Rajam
    January 17, 2012

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwww 🙂

  15. thesaltlisters
    January 17, 2012


  16. risingbharat
    February 5, 2012

    Unfortunately people haven’t realized that government has been subsidizing petrol for a long long time. World across petrol prices are deregulated and hence they keep fluctuating. Finally government is doing the right thing. if petrol prices are going up so be it. Stop using it if it is expensive.Major consumption is still private use. People should start using public transport

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This entry was posted on January 5, 2012 by in Democracy, Governance and Human Interest, National and tagged , .

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